Notable Animals: Jeremy, No Ordinary Snail

Jeremy probably felt like an ordinary snail. He did snail things like curl up in his shell when frightened or chomp away on leaves under the afternoon sun. If he was living in the wild, he would probably munch on the most precious plants he could find in a garden, much to the chagrin of the gardener. If Jeremy had lived in the wild, he would probably come out when it was rainy, and slowly cross sidewalks, causing those nervous for his safety to lean down, pick him up by his shell and escort him safely to the other side of the sidewalk, away from the hefty step of a crushing foot. Jeremy probably would have slowly climbed up the sides of walls, leaving a shimmering trail of snail goo behind him. He probably would of wiggled his antennaed eyes at the blue sky. He'd probably just be another ordinary, beautiful snail.


But despite all that made Jeremy ordinary, he just wasn't. He was a special snail. Instead of having a shell that spiraled counter clockwise, Jeremy's shell spiraled the opposite direction. So despite feeling like a normal snail, Jeremy was considered quite fascinating by the biologists who encountered him! Biologists believed that Jeremy could offer insight into a similar human condition. Some humans are born with their internal organs all in the wrong spots. A similar gene that dictates a strange spiral in a snail is what could dictate this mish-mash of organ placement in humans.

Likely, even if Jeremy had spent his life living an ordinary snail life, he would find parts of his existence not quite ordinary. When a snail has a shell that goes the opposite direction, this means that his little snail genitals are also in the opposite spot of ordinary snails. This makes the act of procreation pretty tricky.

But the scientists had Jeremy's back. They wanted Jeremy to find his lady or sir love because they wanted to see if his condition was genetic. But finding a snail with an opposite twisting shell is no easy task. So the biologists enlisted the help of the world, declaring they needed to find Jeremy a mate. To find a proper mate, the biologists must find snails with the same charming deformity as Jeremy. The biologists asked the world to help them. They wanted us all to take an extra moment to look at those snails crawling up our walls, munching on our garden plants or making haphazard journey's across rainy sidewalks.

Two different snails were sent from different parts of the world to be Jeremy's mates. What must of Jeremy thought when he saw the two snails? Did he recognize that they too came from a background like Jeremy's? Did he sense their familiarity? Or did they just seem like two ordinary snails like all the other snails in existence?

What did Lefty from Ipswich England think? Did he miss his misty gardens? Did he miss the sound of clucking chickens and flower petals jostled by the wind? If he understood any of it, he must have been appalled to be ripped away from his gentle life as a snail to serve as a procreating machine for a weird snail like Jeremy.

What about Tomeau from Morjorca Spain? What did he think of his situation? He probably spent his snail childhood on the frond of a palm tree with the sea breeze always wrapping around his snail shell. Going from that world to the world of lab must have been jarring at best.

But Jeremy finally had the opportunity to feel the joy of friendship! More than friendship, he had an opportunity to make little Jeremy's.

Jeremy was a hapless snail though, and things did not go as planned. Instead of finding Jeremy the perfect, enthralling and utterly charming snail to procreate with,Tomeau and Lefty found each other utterly irresistible instead! Snails are able to be both males and females, so Jeremy didn't have the monopoly on being male. Lefty and Tomeau created beautiful snail children together, leaving weird Uncle Jeremy to sit on the sidelines.

But then something happened. I don't know how similar Jeremy's experience was to humans in similar situations, but snail sparks flew between Tomeau and Jeremy. They reproduced and together created 56 beautiful snail babies.

But Jeremy's familial bliss was not to be long term. Shortly after the conception of his beautiful children, brave Jeremy passed away. He no longer go to exist in this world, bringing joy and marvel at his very being. But he left behind his children and his legacy of Jeremy, the not so ordinary snail.


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